My name is Leah Henry. I'm a 21 year old and in the fall I will be a senior at Howard University. I wish I had a glamorous story about how I knew that giving myself and my purity to Jesus was the answer. For as long as I can remember I was a very over weight and an insecure girl. My insecurities became suppressed by my out going personality. People probably never assumed that I was hurting so much on the inside based on my personality. When I was a freshman in high school I seen all my peers beginning to have sex. I remember overhearing some Varsity football players talking about a competition they had going on in the locker room. They were trying to see who could have sex with the most freshman before the football season was over. As I heard their conversation I begin to realize that it wasn't fair for me to give myself to someone and they would be my number one, and I'd be anything past their first. Then my insecurity kicked in…"Leah, no one will ever like you. You might as well wait until someone actually would like you enough to marry you and then give them yourself." I also knew that as a follower of Christ that this was what God wanted for me as well. So I decided to get my purity ring and make my pledge to God saving my body, my temple, and my soul for Him and my husband. When my senior year in high school approached, I was introduced to a very unfamiliar situation. For the first time in my life, a guy was attracted to me. I honestly couldn't fathom that a guy I liked would have mutual feelings. As we started to get to know each other and our feelings grew stronger, it finally hit me why this pledge I made is actually difficult. I realized after meeting him and our situation-ship running its course that it would be difficult to maintain my virginity. I've lost a lot of "potential partners" because of my pledge. It's very difficult to date now days without sex being involved. I'm a 21 year old virgin, that's never been in a relationship nor had a boyfriend. This process hasn't been easy nor has it been what I thought it would be when I made this decision as a 14 year old. Although it probably seems like I'm making my decision sound negative, it has given me and optimistic outlook on my future relationship. I've been able to weed out so many men that weren't in my life for my best interest. I've also had to learn patience, which I can admit that I'm working on that everyday. A lot of time people equate my purity to perfection and that's not the case…AT ALL. I strive everyday to be more Christ like and truly be a Proverbs 31 women. It's difficult and everyday I learn more about my walk and my womanhood. When people ask if I could do it all over again, knowing what I know now would I wait until marriage again? There were times I used to even question it myself, but I know that the gift I will give my husband my wedding day is more priceless than any fine china money can buy. I know I will marry a man that respects me, and loves me. I know that My king will stand firmly behind his queen and be appreciative of the gift I gave him. All and all my husband and I will have a God centered relationship, that will be more special because of my wait.
I was taught young men want one thing one thing only "sex" they will act like they like you and then lure you into sex than drop you, I didn't have boyfriend's nor was sexually active before my legal age cause I am like we too young for love too young to be sexually active, Always dreamed of loosing my virginity happily in love with the man of my dreams when I was older, but 18 I figure I am adult we old enough to want love to find the one (my mistake for thinking that not true!) my fairy tale shattered I lost my virginity to some douche who at the end proved my parent's right, sadly my parent's were right for a very long time. I had dated a few guy's from the age of 18-20 well after warming up manipulated my mind into thinking they loved me they all shot me down with "I just don't want anything serious" at 20 I couldn't take it anymore in my mind I blame myself too because I should have been straight forward with what I wanted because none of those guy's wanted a future with me so at that point I would have never gave them my time therefore wouldn't have been sexual with them, I would have been a virgin til this day. now nearly 23 in a few day's been 3 year's of being celibate no kissing, no sex, no sexual activity NOTHING. I have founded myself liking some men since but none worthy so I am still single still waiting for the one, I never made love I truly want to break my celibacy with someone who loves me and who I love, I feel Celibacy was Jesus way of protecting me and to bring me closer to "the one" Celibacy truly is the key to real love, I hope my story inspire's young girl's and opens female eye's to convert never too late you don't need to be a virgin, celibacy truly the key to real love and finding the one.
Hello, my name is Diana* and I am 30 years young. At a young age, like 5 or 6, I was sexually curious and started to view movies/ tv shows with sexual scenes. It excited me. . As I got older, I begin to explore my sexual organs and masturbate. I even participated in “cybersex” (that was long before the world of sexting). I got caught after I accidentally printed off a conversation I was having with someone. But that didn’t stop me. When I became old enough in my mind, I begin to engage in sexual activity. The first guy I had sex with, I became so fascinated with him because of his chocolate skin and his accent – he was from Brazil. . I gave my body away to him thinking that he would fall in love with me but he never did. He just wanted a friend. Besides, I didn’t make him earn being with me. . so why should he feel as though he had earned a prize? I went through a phase of giving my body to men but experienced heart break after heart break for six years. I was also addicted to pornography. Anytime I got a little extra money, I would spend it on a porn subscription. I was obsessed with watching porn and having sex. However, I got to a point where I saw the error of my ways and I wanted to stop having sex but I was addicted. I met a guy in June 2007 that I thought I loved and believed that we could get married. He was the first guy that I made wait for a period of time. I thought I was doing something major. He was different. I thought that I loved him and he said that loved me but I was so unhappy with myself. He tried his best to make me feel special by wining and dining me but I would cry and cry. And the truth was, he didn’t love me!! He only loved what I did for him!! We ended up breaking up in December 2008 and I moved to Washington, D.C. in January 2009 for a few months for an internship. While I was there, we were out of touch; I still had those urges to have sex - those sexual ties took over me. When I returned back to Birmingham, I went back to that guy who was my first. I thought that by this time, he would want me. I let him use my body and take advantage of me in other ways. After this experience, I decided that I was done with giving my body away and that I wanted to live to please God. It was a night in April/ May 2009. I got on my knees and asked God to forgive me and help me to turn this around. After this, I put myself in a compromising situation with this new guy that I met but NOTHING happened. . Praise the LORD!! At one point, I reached out to the last ex that I thought loved me. However, he was only interested in being with me sexually and I was offended because I wasn’t about that life anymore. At one point, I was emailing his aunt trying to get her to get him to want to get back with me. . The sexual ties had me discombobulated. She basically told to me to grow up and move on. God delivered me from fornication, masturbation and pornography. I learned that wherever my mind goes, my actions will go too if I don’t first cast those thoughts down!! God gave me self-restraint and helped me to control my sexual impulses.
This year, I am celebrating six years of practicing a life of celibacy. I was delivered from fornication, masturbation and pornography. Once I was delivered, I haven’t turned back. God has helped me to guard my mind and not entertain fantasies in my mind. I have learned to embrace God’s love for me and share love with those that He placed in my life. . . I am in NO way saying that I am perfect but I am redeemed! I am no longer concerned with waiting for a man to sweep me off my feet. I just want to live a life that is pleasing to God. So whether I meet the man of my dreams or not, I am waiting on God! I tell people that I am in a relationship with Jesus and they laugh but He is EVERYTHING to me. I feel like the woman at the well who Jesus revealed some of her darkest secrets to. She left his presence being whole and forever changed.
This year, I am celebrating six years of practicing a life of celibacy. I was delivered from fornication, masturbation and pornography. Once I was delivered, I haven’t turned back. God has helped me to guard my mind and not entertain fantasies in my mind. I have learned to embrace God’s love for me and share love with those that He placed in my life. . . I am in NO way saying that I am perfect but I am redeemed! I am no longer concerned with waiting for a man to sweep me off my feet. I just want to live a life that is pleasing to God. So whether I meet the man of my dreams or not, I am waiting on God! I tell people that I am in a relationship with Jesus and they laugh but He is EVERYTHING to me. I feel like the woman at the well who Jesus revealed some of her darkest secrets to. She left his presence being whole and forever changed.
I am 32 years old and a virgin. I am not ashamed, or what I really should say is, I am no longer ashamed, I am actually grateful for all that I have been protected from by remaining a virgin. I am actually grateful for the ways of escape God has provided for me when I have placed myself in “hot & heavy” situations where the course of my life could have changed and I would not be able to write this today.
I just want to encourage you today that your life is not really about you. I have discovered that everything that has ever happened in my life only enhanced my testimony that I have been tasked to share to encourage others to overcome and win souls for Christ. You will experience so much freedom once you realize this.
Being a virgin, it’s nothing to hide; I will scream it from the mountain tops only to give God the Glory. As unashamed as you are about sharing other things (on Social Media sites, or in conversation with friends and family), be that unashamed about sharing your faith and your testimony to help others overcome and ignite hope! Being a virgin is something that is sacred and special. I often compare being a virgin to seeing a unicorn.
A unicorn is believed to be this mythical creature that resembles a white horse with a horn on its head. In allegories, they are believed to be a real but very very rare and magical creature. Unicorns supposedly represent harmony and purity and all things good. Apparently virgins nowadays are like Unicorns. Again I am 32 years old and I am a virgin. I am not ashamed, I no longer feel like I am missing out on anything and I am grateful that God has sustained and continues to sustain me to wait until marriage.
However when I am talking to people and sharing my story with them, I sometimes leave the conversation feeling like a Unicorn. Some of the responses I get are hilarious and some are heartbreaking:
“Girl I don’t know how you do it!”
“Seriously!”
“So you saying you never ever had sex?”
“You should try it you might like it…”
“What are you waiting for?”
The list could go on and on, I believe at this point in my life I probably have heard every response there is both encouraging to downright rude. Ultimately with believers and non-believers it is heartbreaking to see that something that should be regarded as sacred really isn’t anymore.
Again one of the responses I have heard is, “What you waiting for?” This is probably the top one, so here are my top 3 answers to this infamous question:
My number one reason for waiting until marriage to have sex is: I want to honor God with my body. First Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us that our bodies are not our own so we can’t give away what doesn’t belong to us. The scripture says “you were bought with a price,” when you go into a store and you see something you want, do you just take it? No, you don’t, because taking something that you haven’t paid for is called stealing! Instead, you either do one of two things; you pay for it or you work hard and save your money to pay for it at a later date.
Having sex before marriage is stealing, you are taking something that 1) doesn’t belong to you and 2) you haven’t paid the price for. Our lives are not our own, again I call attention to another part in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 where it says “You are not your own.” We were created to worship God and to be loved by God and having sex before marriage is worshipping ourselves, gratifying our fleshly desires and exalting our flesh and the things of this world above a loving, merciful and sovereign God. Someone may be reading this thinking, “Wow she is really going in!” Well, yes I am because the Word of God is real and it is true and it is the only thing I have to rely on, so why wouldn’t I live by and apply all that God has commanded me in His Word? So to enhance my first reason I want to honor God with my body and keep His commands.
.My number two reason for waiting until marriage to have sex is: I don’t want to suffer the mental and emotional heartache, headache and drama that comes with having premarital sex. Sex is a beautiful thing, sex is great and sex is wonderful, how do I know? I know because the Bible tells me so! However outside of marriage sex can be complicated. The act of having sex is not just physical; the act of sexual intercourse is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, it’s all-encompassing.
In Genesis 2:24 (NLT) it says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” In an article I read about marriage, it broke this verse down like this: “When the Bible says that two shall become one flesh, more is meant than what we would mean by the phrase, physical union. Man as flesh includes his spirit and soul because he is living flesh due to having a spirit and in being a living soul. The word flesh refers to his entire nature. The biblical understanding of man as flesh shows that the sexual union is not simply a union of two bodies as if the bodies were separate from the souls of the two persons.” I am about my Father’s Business and to be Kingdom minded I do not have time to be caught up in my feelings about a man that I have slept with who is not my husband.
Which brings me to another point:
Premarital sex is a distraction and pulls us away from the Will of God for our lives, it pulls us away from our purpose because we are too busy thinking about who we are sleeping with and what they are doing to be focused on the things of God and advancing the Kingdom of God.
My number three reason for waiting until marriage to have sex is: I don’t want to have a child out of wedlock and I don’t want to contract any diseases or infections. I really don’t think I need to elaborate much on this reason because it is pretty self-explanatory.
If you haven’t had sex yet, don’t, eliminate and flee from temptation, ask God to sustain you and wait until marriage. If you have had sex, cry out to God with a repentant heart, confess, repent and rededicate your body to God, eliminate and flee from temptation and ask Him to sustain you until marriage.
We serve a loving, merciful and forgiving God who sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for all of us, and it is never too late for anyone to come back home to the arms of Jesus!
The Unicorn analogy was a light-hearted approach to a very serious issue. Virgins do exist, I know a couple and we believe in honoring God with our bodies, no we are not perfect, yes we sometimes fall short but God’s grace and mercy is sufficient for us! Being a virgin isn’t easy but I know it will certainly be worth it!
I just want to encourage you today that your life is not really about you. I have discovered that everything that has ever happened in my life only enhanced my testimony that I have been tasked to share to encourage others to overcome and win souls for Christ. You will experience so much freedom once you realize this.
Being a virgin, it’s nothing to hide; I will scream it from the mountain tops only to give God the Glory. As unashamed as you are about sharing other things (on Social Media sites, or in conversation with friends and family), be that unashamed about sharing your faith and your testimony to help others overcome and ignite hope! Being a virgin is something that is sacred and special. I often compare being a virgin to seeing a unicorn.
A unicorn is believed to be this mythical creature that resembles a white horse with a horn on its head. In allegories, they are believed to be a real but very very rare and magical creature. Unicorns supposedly represent harmony and purity and all things good. Apparently virgins nowadays are like Unicorns. Again I am 32 years old and I am a virgin. I am not ashamed, I no longer feel like I am missing out on anything and I am grateful that God has sustained and continues to sustain me to wait until marriage.
However when I am talking to people and sharing my story with them, I sometimes leave the conversation feeling like a Unicorn. Some of the responses I get are hilarious and some are heartbreaking:
“Girl I don’t know how you do it!”
“Seriously!”
“So you saying you never ever had sex?”
“You should try it you might like it…”
“What are you waiting for?”
The list could go on and on, I believe at this point in my life I probably have heard every response there is both encouraging to downright rude. Ultimately with believers and non-believers it is heartbreaking to see that something that should be regarded as sacred really isn’t anymore.
Again one of the responses I have heard is, “What you waiting for?” This is probably the top one, so here are my top 3 answers to this infamous question:
My number one reason for waiting until marriage to have sex is: I want to honor God with my body. First Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us that our bodies are not our own so we can’t give away what doesn’t belong to us. The scripture says “you were bought with a price,” when you go into a store and you see something you want, do you just take it? No, you don’t, because taking something that you haven’t paid for is called stealing! Instead, you either do one of two things; you pay for it or you work hard and save your money to pay for it at a later date.
Having sex before marriage is stealing, you are taking something that 1) doesn’t belong to you and 2) you haven’t paid the price for. Our lives are not our own, again I call attention to another part in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 where it says “You are not your own.” We were created to worship God and to be loved by God and having sex before marriage is worshipping ourselves, gratifying our fleshly desires and exalting our flesh and the things of this world above a loving, merciful and sovereign God. Someone may be reading this thinking, “Wow she is really going in!” Well, yes I am because the Word of God is real and it is true and it is the only thing I have to rely on, so why wouldn’t I live by and apply all that God has commanded me in His Word? So to enhance my first reason I want to honor God with my body and keep His commands.
.My number two reason for waiting until marriage to have sex is: I don’t want to suffer the mental and emotional heartache, headache and drama that comes with having premarital sex. Sex is a beautiful thing, sex is great and sex is wonderful, how do I know? I know because the Bible tells me so! However outside of marriage sex can be complicated. The act of having sex is not just physical; the act of sexual intercourse is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, it’s all-encompassing.
In Genesis 2:24 (NLT) it says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” In an article I read about marriage, it broke this verse down like this: “When the Bible says that two shall become one flesh, more is meant than what we would mean by the phrase, physical union. Man as flesh includes his spirit and soul because he is living flesh due to having a spirit and in being a living soul. The word flesh refers to his entire nature. The biblical understanding of man as flesh shows that the sexual union is not simply a union of two bodies as if the bodies were separate from the souls of the two persons.” I am about my Father’s Business and to be Kingdom minded I do not have time to be caught up in my feelings about a man that I have slept with who is not my husband.
Which brings me to another point:
Premarital sex is a distraction and pulls us away from the Will of God for our lives, it pulls us away from our purpose because we are too busy thinking about who we are sleeping with and what they are doing to be focused on the things of God and advancing the Kingdom of God.
My number three reason for waiting until marriage to have sex is: I don’t want to have a child out of wedlock and I don’t want to contract any diseases or infections. I really don’t think I need to elaborate much on this reason because it is pretty self-explanatory.
If you haven’t had sex yet, don’t, eliminate and flee from temptation, ask God to sustain you and wait until marriage. If you have had sex, cry out to God with a repentant heart, confess, repent and rededicate your body to God, eliminate and flee from temptation and ask Him to sustain you until marriage.
We serve a loving, merciful and forgiving God who sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for all of us, and it is never too late for anyone to come back home to the arms of Jesus!
The Unicorn analogy was a light-hearted approach to a very serious issue. Virgins do exist, I know a couple and we believe in honoring God with our bodies, no we are not perfect, yes we sometimes fall short but God’s grace and mercy is sufficient for us! Being a virgin isn’t easy but I know it will certainly be worth it!
Starting at a young age I started turning to older men to be noticed and feel loved. Many of the relationships were not so good until one of my friends hooked me up with one of her neighbors. He was about to be 18 in one month and I was about to be 14 in the same month as his birthday. He really swept me off of my feet and had me ready to settle down at 15 years old. We started talking about marriage when I was 15, he said the day I turned 18 we are going to get married. We started talking about starting a family and moving in together. We were really serious about settling down, so I thought.... Well it turns out he was not as ready as he said. I was committed and then he kept making excuses of why we should break up. So we broke up numerous different times but we could not ever spend much time without talking. We always went running back to each other. We eventually broke up and went almost ome year without talking. We got back in contact and it was as if we were never apart. He kept hurting me though. Anyways to try to get over him, I went back to some of my ex's to feel loved. Each one continued to hurt me and blame me for their issues. A few times a guy blamed me for his drug use and even threatened to commit suicide if I left him. I was lost and did not know what to do so I dealt with his disrespect and lies. We also talked about marriage and having children. We broke up but I still talked to him all of the time because I did not want him to kill himself. A while after that me and the other guy started talking again but just as friends. Long story short he ended up dating someone while we were apart for that period of time and he got engaged after dating her maybe 6 months and then he married her the day before my birthday. Even after he was married, he still was in contact with me but I would not flirt with him. I missed him so much but I was not going to ruin him and his wife's relationship. I told him I wanted to be her friend but he kept saying he knows but he does not think that is a good idea. I kept wishing them well though. After all of that, I focused on me for a while and then on February 16, 2014 I gave my life to Christ and He almost instantly took away most of the pain and he also kept me from feeling like I had to have a man and I could not stay single. I have been single close to four years, during those four years I still talked to one of the guys I talked about marriage with for one or two of those years. We were only friends and did not talk about getting back together. However, I have disconnected entirely from all of my ex's since then. I have really been focusing on God and He has showed up amazingly in my life. He shows me the love that I really needed/need!!! God always shows up in mysterious ways and when I least expect a turnaround, there He is giving me strength and guiding me along my way. If you just rely on God and keep the faith then He will move in so many ways!!! I am constantly in awe of what God has done and continues to do in my life. If it was not for Him then I would not be here today!! To everyone who reads this, I just want to let you know that God is right beside you waiting for you to call upon His magnificent name!!! He loves you like no human can!!! During my time of waiting I have learned so much by building a true relationship with God and for that I know in due time He will reveal to me who my Man of God is. Stay encouraged and just know that your current situation does not define who you are. The reason why waiting on God to send me the man He created for me has been somewhat easy is because I found my worth in Him. I no longer feel the need to run to men searching for love when in reality, no man can love me like God! God has also sent people in my life to teach me more about Him and why living holy is so important. Once you get tired of living in a worldly manner and you really do not know what to do, run to God. He is right beside you waiting for you to call upon His name!! No matter what your situation looks like or feels like, just know that God can step in and turn everything around in your favor!!! God is wanting so bad to Bless you even more! All it takes is for you to repent and turn to God, He will help you in every area that you are struggling in. So I must say that waiting on God has been one of the best decisions I have ever made!!! Living a holy life and focusing on what is really important has been amazing. Before living my life for God, I was doing so many things I knew I had no business doing. I also caused a lot of the trials in my life because I did not listen to God even when He warned me. I was not saved but God kept trying to warn me. That just proves how much God loves us. In reality if God would not have had me and the guys I dated to break up, I probably would not have finished middle school or even high school. He still protected me even when I had no idea who He was. Stay encouraged and know that all things work together for your good. What God joins together, no human can separate. When you are obedient to what God says then He will Bless you beyond measure.
Pre-marital sex isn’t new to me. In my past, it was mistaken as love. It felt like love. It looked like love. Yet I later realized it was the furthest thing from love. Though it felt good for that moment, it left a young girl feeling angry, ashamed, broken-hearted, and betrayed. I also know what it’s like to surrender my whole life and body to Christ, encourage others to stay pure, yet still fall to sexual sin myself. As a result, the enemy tormented me and left me feeling ashamed and condemned. The spirit of condemnation pulled me so far away from God, which was only a trick of the enemy. Now, if I told you I’d mastered fornication and sexual sin, I wouldn’t be completely honest. But I can say that I’ve mastered setting boundaries and not placing myself in compromising situations to fall into sexual sin. I think the biggest downfall for those trying to remain sexually pure is for them to think they’re so spiritual and deep that they can’t be tempted by the enemy. That’s certainly not my testimony. Satan doesn’t tempt us with the things we don’t like. He tempts us with the things that he knows will make us fall. I’m not perfect and I’m not a goodie-two-shoes but I do know when the enemy is trying to attack so I set parameters and boundaries so his tactics will fail and ultimately I'll have the victory!
Hi my name is Tajuana Champ. I am very elated to share my testimony of why I have decided to wait to have sex until marriage. Am I virgin? No, I am not. I was so tired of the emptiness I felt after a roll in the hay and hoping one day he will change his mind and want to wife me. Then there were times I had a steady boyfriend that I waited for a proposal of marriage, then when one did he cheated repeatedly. So I was thinking he's getting all he wants but what am I getting, besides disappointment after disappointment?
Then I came to the realization after various failed relationships that I needed a change and that change could only come from within. God spoke to me through the emotional rollercoaster I had experienced in my last relationship. He begin telling me that he has more and better for me. The scales fell from eyes and I was able to see myself, the way God saw me. Of course, this did not happen overnight but with much fasting and much, much prayer.
Over two years ago, God lead me to a consecration period where I did not date anyone, I declined phone numbers that were offered, I only communicated with guys I worked with and went to church with. No texting or phone calls to/with guys. I solely dated God. He strengthened me to see past all that I thought I needed. He filled that void that before, I kept trying to fill with all types of things and people, but I kept coming up short and feeling empty inside. But Jesus gave me a lasting fulfillment deep inside because I decided to follow after His righteousness and by staying pure of sexual immorality.
As I start to date now, I pray even more, so that I am not weary in waiting on the God sent one nor becoming anxious. I am honest and upfront with a guy that peaks my interest. I make it no secret that I am waiting for my husband. I do not hug, kiss or any kind of touching. I keep the friendship platonic. I have been careful to never let a guy come to my home and I do not visit his home unless there is a group or a gathering, too risky with just the two of us. Public outings, I've had guys says I don't like going out all the time, I felt that was lame and evident there is a hidden agenda. A man that has a genuine interest in you does not mind taking things slow and getting to know you as the beautiful gem you are. He will wait on you and hear from God as you are hearing from God as well.
I am currently standing in expectancy on God to send my husband. God has made me content with my life as it today. I am maintaining my focus and enjoying being me by staying in the word, committing to church ministries and outreach organizations and participate in Girls Night Outs, etc
Then I came to the realization after various failed relationships that I needed a change and that change could only come from within. God spoke to me through the emotional rollercoaster I had experienced in my last relationship. He begin telling me that he has more and better for me. The scales fell from eyes and I was able to see myself, the way God saw me. Of course, this did not happen overnight but with much fasting and much, much prayer.
Over two years ago, God lead me to a consecration period where I did not date anyone, I declined phone numbers that were offered, I only communicated with guys I worked with and went to church with. No texting or phone calls to/with guys. I solely dated God. He strengthened me to see past all that I thought I needed. He filled that void that before, I kept trying to fill with all types of things and people, but I kept coming up short and feeling empty inside. But Jesus gave me a lasting fulfillment deep inside because I decided to follow after His righteousness and by staying pure of sexual immorality.
As I start to date now, I pray even more, so that I am not weary in waiting on the God sent one nor becoming anxious. I am honest and upfront with a guy that peaks my interest. I make it no secret that I am waiting for my husband. I do not hug, kiss or any kind of touching. I keep the friendship platonic. I have been careful to never let a guy come to my home and I do not visit his home unless there is a group or a gathering, too risky with just the two of us. Public outings, I've had guys says I don't like going out all the time, I felt that was lame and evident there is a hidden agenda. A man that has a genuine interest in you does not mind taking things slow and getting to know you as the beautiful gem you are. He will wait on you and hear from God as you are hearing from God as well.
I am currently standing in expectancy on God to send my husband. God has made me content with my life as it today. I am maintaining my focus and enjoying being me by staying in the word, committing to church ministries and outreach organizations and participate in Girls Night Outs, etc
Hello, my name is Danielle W. and I'm 27 years old. I was recently baptized on May 2nd and since then I began my journey through celibacy. I have been hesitant to share my story because I felt like I'm barely starting so maybe my story wouldn't be as compelling. However, it has been tugging on my heart so I decided to go ahead and reach out. I was discouraged for a long time, and was scared to make the change. I feel like when God is putting something on your heart repeatedly and you continue to ignore it there's something wrong. I finally decided to STOP and obey Him. What I feared most was rejection, what if people mocked me, but I had to let that mindset go. A part of my relationship is slowly starting to deteriorate because we are not on the same page. I was asked why start now, and God knows we sin so it's ok. Crazy, right? I am 100% happy with my decision, simply because I am seeking God's approval not Man's. I am yearning for a closer relationship with the Lord and asking him to reveal the changes needed to be made. So, for now I will wait for what is God sent and stay focused on the Lord, myself, and my two sons. Thank you for your time and I'm so grateful I stumbled upon your Instagram page, we all need reassurance when doing something "out of the norm".
I would not even say that I made a conscious commitment to purity before I began to practice it. I was engaged and the engagement as well as the relationship was dragging out. Because there was a build up of overt sin in my life I think the Holy Spirit started crying out to me. I realized that in order to have a gospel centered marriage we had to start then so I decided to pray about moving out because we were living together and of course after having a child we were very much used to that “comfort”. So, I prayed and it seemed not very long after that a circumstance came about that would be a blessing to me as well as my sister if we were to get a place together. I told my then fiance and the day before I moved out we broke up. That was not my intention originally, but we were at a place that maybe honoring God in a relationship together wasn’t possible.
There are several reasons why I chose purity and most of them had nothing to do with me. I chose purity partly because of my daughter. As her mother I am charged with the task of helping to mold, shape and disciple her alongside the Father so that she grows up to be another godly woman who brings glory to our Father. One thing I realized is that I am her first example of what it looks like to walk as a godly woman. During the course of feeding my spirit and pursuing my relationship with the Lord I came across these verses:
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
In a sermon, the pastor explained them like this: sexual immorality (sexual activities outside of marriage) is the number one way to look and act like you don’t know God. How could I show my daughter how to be godly while continuously committing one of the most obvious sins out there? If I want to teach her to walk with Him then I need to walk like I know Him myself. On a practical level she will just think it’s ok to allow a man to dishonor her and God with pre-marital sex.
Another reason that is also illustrated in the verses above is that it is the will of God that we be sanctified. I believe that santification is only possible through a loving relationship with God. The first thing that I needed to know when I became serious about my walk with Jesus is how do I love and have a relationship with Him? John 14:15 says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Boom. Simple as that. If we love the Lord then we will want to please Him. We will make Him a priority and therefore our will should become His will. Did you know that all the commandments from God are for our good? What He tells us to abstain from as well as pursue bring fullness and joy to our lives. As a mother I know this to be true. If I tell my four year old daughter not to continue to flip off the couch it is not because it’s good for me, but because it’s good for her. I know that if she misses the soft cushion or fails to land on her feet that she will literally be in a world of hurt. God does the same thing. He is for our good and therefore His will for us, which is santification, is for our good because He loves us.
There are many more reasons that I could name for why I chose purity; the Bible calls us to purity. We were bought with the blood of Christ and so no one who has not paid the price of committing to marriage is not entitled to any part of us. Our bodies are not our own. Our bodies are the temple of Christ. On and on I could go, but what I really want talk about is preserving my emotional purity. There is a book buthat title that was recommended to me and when I first started to read it I kind of thought it was a little extreme, but on closer examination I realized that the author is right. Emotional purity is a commitment that I have made for myself and my future king. I haven’t worked out the kinks, but I know that keeping myself emotionally pure, that is, not allowing myself exclusive emotional intimacy with a man who will not be my mate preserves the remaining pieces of my heart for my king. When you give your heart away to someone you’re not going to marry one of two things happen. The first is that no matter how awesome and amazing a man that the Lord gives you he will suffer because of your past hurts. You will question his motives and sincerity because someone said those same three words before and left you broken. I know because I question over and over whether or not the words of my now ex were ever true. The second thing is this: I had a friend, like a real actual friend. When we began to confide in one another above what we had previously done and share our fears and hopes and expose those vulnerable places to one another strong feelings developed. We also greatly admired one another. Put that together and you have “falling in love”. You may say that’s not a bad thing, but neither one of us, most of all him, were in a position to “love” one another and I tell you it spiraled into sin and selfishness and brought me to a new low even while I was soaring with a new high. Long story short: a lot of hurt was had by me, by him, by my family and probably by his family too. And one of the worst parts is that because I prioritize Jesus over anyone else even if we wanted to we could not be friends ever again. And I mourn that friendship, but even worse than that I unconsciously compare any qualities or characteristics of my future mate to my memories of him.
“Purity” like loving the Lord, should be with your mind, body, soul and spirit. That is how I am approaching it and those are the reasons why I chose it.
There are several reasons why I chose purity and most of them had nothing to do with me. I chose purity partly because of my daughter. As her mother I am charged with the task of helping to mold, shape and disciple her alongside the Father so that she grows up to be another godly woman who brings glory to our Father. One thing I realized is that I am her first example of what it looks like to walk as a godly woman. During the course of feeding my spirit and pursuing my relationship with the Lord I came across these verses:
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
In a sermon, the pastor explained them like this: sexual immorality (sexual activities outside of marriage) is the number one way to look and act like you don’t know God. How could I show my daughter how to be godly while continuously committing one of the most obvious sins out there? If I want to teach her to walk with Him then I need to walk like I know Him myself. On a practical level she will just think it’s ok to allow a man to dishonor her and God with pre-marital sex.
Another reason that is also illustrated in the verses above is that it is the will of God that we be sanctified. I believe that santification is only possible through a loving relationship with God. The first thing that I needed to know when I became serious about my walk with Jesus is how do I love and have a relationship with Him? John 14:15 says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Boom. Simple as that. If we love the Lord then we will want to please Him. We will make Him a priority and therefore our will should become His will. Did you know that all the commandments from God are for our good? What He tells us to abstain from as well as pursue bring fullness and joy to our lives. As a mother I know this to be true. If I tell my four year old daughter not to continue to flip off the couch it is not because it’s good for me, but because it’s good for her. I know that if she misses the soft cushion or fails to land on her feet that she will literally be in a world of hurt. God does the same thing. He is for our good and therefore His will for us, which is santification, is for our good because He loves us.
There are many more reasons that I could name for why I chose purity; the Bible calls us to purity. We were bought with the blood of Christ and so no one who has not paid the price of committing to marriage is not entitled to any part of us. Our bodies are not our own. Our bodies are the temple of Christ. On and on I could go, but what I really want talk about is preserving my emotional purity. There is a book buthat title that was recommended to me and when I first started to read it I kind of thought it was a little extreme, but on closer examination I realized that the author is right. Emotional purity is a commitment that I have made for myself and my future king. I haven’t worked out the kinks, but I know that keeping myself emotionally pure, that is, not allowing myself exclusive emotional intimacy with a man who will not be my mate preserves the remaining pieces of my heart for my king. When you give your heart away to someone you’re not going to marry one of two things happen. The first is that no matter how awesome and amazing a man that the Lord gives you he will suffer because of your past hurts. You will question his motives and sincerity because someone said those same three words before and left you broken. I know because I question over and over whether or not the words of my now ex were ever true. The second thing is this: I had a friend, like a real actual friend. When we began to confide in one another above what we had previously done and share our fears and hopes and expose those vulnerable places to one another strong feelings developed. We also greatly admired one another. Put that together and you have “falling in love”. You may say that’s not a bad thing, but neither one of us, most of all him, were in a position to “love” one another and I tell you it spiraled into sin and selfishness and brought me to a new low even while I was soaring with a new high. Long story short: a lot of hurt was had by me, by him, by my family and probably by his family too. And one of the worst parts is that because I prioritize Jesus over anyone else even if we wanted to we could not be friends ever again. And I mourn that friendship, but even worse than that I unconsciously compare any qualities or characteristics of my future mate to my memories of him.
“Purity” like loving the Lord, should be with your mind, body, soul and spirit. That is how I am approaching it and those are the reasons why I chose it.
My name is Jazminn and I'm a 24 year old single mother in college, and I'm maintaining abstinence until marriage. Abstinence is easier in my opinion if you've never experienced sex, some may disagree but I'm here to share my story. In 2005 I met my first love in high school, he was a star football player and I played basketball. He's from new Orleans and had come to our school following hurricane Katrina, and immediately we connected. We became friends instantly and soon we found ourselves leaving class for a "bathroom" break so we could sneak a kiss in between classes. Before I knew it I was in love, it was perfect until I found out he had been dating someone else the same time as I and it created a rivalry between this other girl and I. Three years went by with this back and forth with him and I but I was so in love I didn't care. February 2008, senior year was winding down, valentine's day was around the corner and the prep for prom began. We talked about what colors we would wear and everything, it was a happy time in my life. A week before valentine's day, we were at his house, alone really for the first time and we began to watch a movie. Kissing led to touching them eventually we were getting ready to go all the way when I told him I was a virgin and at first he didn't believe me because I was the last one in the group to lose theirs. He asked did I want him forever and I said yes, in that moment I thought we'd spend our life together, high school sweethearts. During the next week of school he became distant, until the day before valentine's day he sends me a text saying he wasn't ready for a relationship. I was crushed, I trusted him with my most prized possession and he betrayed me and I thought what else could be worse. Come to find out he told people and I was the joke, I didn't know until my close friend came and told me; I just wanted to die, I felt so stupid and hurt I just wanted to run away. I met this guy online and we started to date, he was 23 and I was 17 but I didn't care I just wanted someone to take the pain away. From him to fooling around with more than 20 guys trying to fill a void, good hole in my heart; I was moving so fast I ran into a wall called syphilis. I just thought I was having an allergic reaction to something, my skin was rashy and my hair eventually began to fall out by the roots. I finally had to go to the hospital because my organs began to shut down and I was in extreme pain, I was in the last stage before death. They pumped me with heavy medication and by the grace of God I'm healed, and said I'd do better. Yes, I was doing better but I still fell into the sex demon when I was in a relationship, being with a few more guys I was still looking for love. In 2012 I was in school in North Texas and I thought I met someone who was different, we both were athletes; he ran track and me of course basketball. We dated and we were intimate one time, and 7 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Shocked and scared he said he'd be there for me until I found out he was cheating on me with multiple women on campus and once I told him I didn't want to be with him but we could still be parents he threw me away. I contemplated abortion but it wasn't the baby's fault so I went through with the pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy daughter in 2013. I was single and once again maintaining my abstinence for a year until I met someone. He was a military guy, same Christian background so I thought he was different, but he wasn't saved. We were still unequally yoked and it showed up after a couple months. He didn't accept my daughter, he just wanted me and after I said no more sex he lost interest and moved on. So here I am again, thinking what happened, I finally decided that God was missing in my life, so I surrendered and gave my life back to Christ. With a few hiccups from then until now I can say I've really grown, and by keeping God first in my life he sent me someone. The type of guy I've asked for, saved, loves my daughter, sweet, caring, everything a woman could ask for plus he's a virgin! Lord knows how to work definitely, I use my story to encourage other people to wait because it is so worth it. You will be blessed by waiting, being patient and you will save yourself alot of heartaches and headaches. Be blessed and I love yall!!!
I decided to take a vow of celibacy because I wanted sex to be something less than casual in my life. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with another human being and should not be shared with just anyone. I feel strongly about who I give my body to and I want that to be my husband. With disease on the rise along with pregnancy I do not want to put myself at risk with anyone other than my spouse. I respect my body and would like any man that I am dating to do the same. This is part of the reason why I stopped having sex and committed myself to God. Being celibate is the best thing I could have ever done for my mind, body and spirit. I am finding myself with the grace of God and can say that I am truly happy. I have made great friendships and am also respected more for my decision. Although many people say that celibacy makes it hard to find a date I look at it as a blessing. When I meet a man and tell him that sex is not an option between us I get two reactions. Either we are on the same page and he has similar values or he is not and I move on. I no longer feel pressured to compete with the sexualization of women or the need to dress or look a certain way for the attention of a man. Being celibate forces a man to get to know me from the inside out without expecting sex in return. It opens the door to conversation and respect on my behalf. I am not a virgin and I will admit that the temptation to have sex is always around and that is why I wear my celibacy ring. My ring reminds me of all the pain and hurt I have experienced though relationships but also reminds me of the unconditional love God showers upon me. I am 24 years old and a lot of people say go out have fun and live life! I agree but my idea of fun is not smoking, getting drunk or having meaningless sex. I am having the best time of my life without sex and I will never settle for a man who does not share my values. I was in a marriage with a man who did everything in his power to break me, but God is the reason I overcame that time of darkness and showed me my self-worth. I know and will always know that I am worth the ring, the family, the love, respect and the title of wife, mother and partner. I want young men and women to be strong enough to fight temptation and stand to be different. Celibacy until marriage is something I wish more people would practice today. I feel as though more relationships would last longer if they waited until marriage and took the many years of dating to really get to know the person mentally. Celibacy is something that I am not ashamed of and I openly express my beliefs about waiting for sex until marriage to anyone who would like to take this journey.
Some believe that making the choice to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual behavior is all about the act of sex. But my choice to wait didn't stem from sex but rather from love. I was a young girl who did not grow up having a relationship with my father. A young girl who was also molested by her step-grandfather. The same grandfather who pastored the church, who's youth choir I sang in. Growing up I did not have healthy male role models in my life and I didn't know what "love" meant. The enemy perverted my idea of love before it was ever fully developed. As I got older, the only way I felt I could get emotionally close with a man, was to be intimate with him. So that is what I did, I searched for love with men using my body as a tool to obtain that love. Much of my adult life was spent desperately wanting someone to simply love me. So much so, that I was willing to accept mistreatment from men just to have it and it took several painful experiences for me to learn that those men did not love me. But when that realization came, I fell into a deep depression. I was prescribed antidepressants and anti-anxiety medicines just to function like a normal person. Yet even though I was in a place of darkness I remember crying out to God. I told Him that I would hold on to Him for dear life, if He promised not to let me go. For nine months I spent time with God, cried to Him and read His Word. And during that time He held me in His arms and began to love me back to life. He showed me what real love looked, felt and sounded like. He did for me what no man could ever do for me and I was in awe of His amazing love and grace. He showed me my value and my worth as a daughter of the King. I knew then that I was worth more than I had ever once believed and I didn't want to share my body with anyone outside of my husband. I don't want to share my body with someone who does not understand the love of Christ and who is not committed to loving me the way Christ love's His church. When I was sexually involved, the enemy fought me with insecurity, lust, anger, low self-esteem, fear and worry. Purity is hard and can be a challenging choice to make when you've already engaged in sexual behavior and aren't staying close to your father God. But in the end it is worth the peace of mind and knowing that it's not about the love of a man you're waiting for. But you're waiting to engage in something God designed for marriage and in your waiting you're pleasing God.
I wanted to give myself to my husband the day I got married. When I was 12 all of that changed. I was raped by a close friend of the family. His sisters watched the whole time my rape was happening. I prayed to God to make them go away or send my mommy to take me home. No one came. I saw my soul leave my body while everything happened. That day I stopped believing in God. I thought to myself that He must not be real if He allowed this to happen. Two years later I got pregnant for the first time. I was too ashamed to face everyone and be an unwed parent I decided to have an abortion. It ate me alive to the point I started taking drugs and dropped out of school. I tried to take my own life because I couldn't face reality anymore. I was the school slut and I was hooked on drugs. God wouldn't let me take my life. I decided to get my life back on track. It was a long and hard one. My senior year of high school I decided to take a purity pledge at my church to marry God my first love until he sent me a husband. I was 18 when I took the pledge. I'm 23 now and I've decided to take the pledge a few months ago because I wanted to wait on my husband and wait on God. Despite my short comings and mistakes it was God's grace who kept me